Category: winter soldier


Tony: Don’t tell me what to do.

Bucky: Blow me.

Tony: Okay, tell me what to do.


Bucky: Sex is not dating.

Tony: If it were, Barnes and I would be dating.


Sam: Is there a party this weekend?

Tony: Yeah. Of course there is. Do you want to come?

Sam: No, I can’t. Ahhh. I just need to know where it is. Sorry to be asking.

Tony: Then why are you asking?

Sam: Some people want to know.

Tony: OK. Yeah. It’s no big secret. It’s at the Blue Oyster Bar on Howell.

[Captain America and the Winter Soldier walk into a bar…]


Bucky: All right, you’re clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.

Tony: Tell me about it.

Bucky: I murdered Barton last night.

Tony: I feel you.

Bucky: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can’t stop murdering.

Tony: Been there.


Fury: And we’re back to the obvious. Now, what’s up?

Steve: Well, uh, okay, um, I don’t want to get back together with Tony. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn’t work, but I can’t deal with the fact that he slept with my friend Bucky. So I’m just completely confused and alone.

Fury: I understand.

Steve: Got any advice?

Fury: Yes. Buck up.


Bucky: What’s wrong with you?

Tony: What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me is that you’re freakishly tall! I feel like a woodland creature.


Natasha: [talking to Tony and Bucky] Did the two of you really think you were going to get away with this?

Tony: Well… It would be stupid to say yes now.


Bucky: [speaking of Tony] Did you mount him?

Steve: [embarrassed] Oh my god, Buck!


Wait, wait. Has he got big thighs?


[thinking] No.


No?! Then what’s the problem?


Tony: What have you been doing with your life?

Bucky: Uh… professional killer.

Tony: Oh! Good for you, it’s a… growth industry.


Tony: I should have worn jeans.

Bucky: I should have brought my gun.


What was that?


Should be fun!