Category: war machine

Rhodey: You’re cooking?

Tony: Yup!

Rhodey: Are you sure that’s a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.

Rhodey: What happened there, Tones? Hit another bridge whilst flying?

Tony: That happened one time, Rhodey.

Rhodey: I’m sorry to tell you this but you have a heart, and capacity to feel.

Tony: You take that back.

Tony: This is horrible. This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me…

Rhodey: Even more humiliating than-

Tony: Let’s not do this.

Rhodey: It’s time to do what you do best, Tones.

Tony: Get on people’s nerves?

Rhodey: Exactly!

Rhodey: Tony! Be careful.

Tony: Well, you know me, Platypus.

Rhodey: Sure do.

Rhodey: So be careful.

Tony: You actually care about me?

Rhodey: Of course I do, you dumbass bitch.

Rhodey: [officiating at Tony and Stephen’s wedding] I have watched your childish rivalry turn grow into a childish courtship, and now I am proud to witness that childish courtship blossom into what will undoubtedly be a childish marriage.

[Tony bursts in, obviously drunk]

Tony: Yo- hooo!

Rhodey: Where the hell’ve you been?

Tony: Ty and I just crashed an embassy party.

Rhodey: Are you drunk?!

Tony: Noooo! [comes closer and whispers] I’m lying. I am so drunk.