Category: tony x pepper


Pepper: I try getting her to say “mama” for a year and nothing, but Tony says “fuck” just once and Morgan won’t stop repeating it.

Tony: You just lack my natural charisma.


Tony: I’m a responsible adult.

Pepper: [raises an eyebrow]

Tony: I’m an adult.


Tony: All I wanted was a place where people would care about me.

Pepper: You have that here, you stupid ass!


Tony: And now welcome to the first annual affection games, remember this fight is to the surrender not the death. If you kill someone you’re disqualified.

Everyone: [grumbles unintelligible curses under their breath]

Tony: [continuing his introduction] Winner will get 5 kisses and a movie night of cuddles.

Bucky: Y’all are going down.

Steve: You wish! I’m winning this obviously.

Loki: Foolish mortals, do you truly believe you can beat a god?

Pepper: [glares at them all until they back off, then carries Tony away bridal style into the sunset]


Pepper: Tony, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn’t you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?

Tony: I did! A penis one!


Tony: At my funeral, there’s going to be a closed casket, and then it’ll be open to reveal that I’m not inside. Instead, they’ll turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme song is playing.


Tony: Never mind. Pepper says I can’t do that.


Pepper: Look, I know you’re busy, but I’m… I’m worried about Tony.

Rhodey: Really? Why?

Pepper: Last night he was just whisked away by a couple of federal agents… Then when I talked to him today, he was nice, sincere, no smart-ass quips. So, something is definitely wrong.



And how exactly will you stop me?

Steve: I’ll call Miss Potts.

Tony: … Goddamnit.


Rhodey: Pepper! Pepper, it’s Tony, he’s back!

Pepper: Thank God he’s back alive, I’m gonna kill him!