Category: tony x pepper

Morgan: [starts screaming at 3AM]

Pepper: [half-asleep] Your turn.

Tony: Ugh, fine…

Tony: [starts screaming]

Pepper: I want to hear those three little words.

Tony: I love you.

Pepper: That’s sweet, but try again.

Tony: Fine. I will behave.

Pepper: You made them tea? We don’t have tea.

Tony: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

Pepper: [after Tony nearly died] Idiot!

Tony: Stop yelling at me…

Pepper: Somebody has to!

Tony: I’m sorry.

Clint: [to Tony] I dare you-

Pepper: Tony’s not allowed to accept dares.

Clint: Why not?

Tony: [head bowed] I have no regard for my own personal safety.

Pepper: I try getting her to say “mama” for a year and nothing, but Tony says “fuck” just once and Morgan won’t stop repeating it.

Tony: You just lack my natural charisma.

Tony: I’m a responsible adult.

Pepper: [raises an eyebrow]

Tony: I’m an adult.

Tony: All I wanted was a place where people would care about me.

Pepper: You have that here, you stupid ass!

Tony: And now welcome to the first annual affection games, remember this fight is to the surrender not the death. If you kill someone you’re disqualified.

Everyone: [grumbles unintelligible curses under their breath]

Tony: [continuing his introduction] Winner will get 5 kisses and a movie night of cuddles.

Bucky: Y’all are going down.

Steve: You wish! I’m winning this obviously.

Loki: Foolish mortals, do you truly believe you can beat a god?

Pepper: [glares at them all until they back off, then carries Tony away bridal style into the sunset]

Pepper: Tony, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn’t you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?

Tony: I did! A penis one!