Category: superhusbands

[Steve and Tony walking in the park]

Some guy: [about Tony, whistles] Damn, nice ass!

Steve: Tony, say something!

Tony: Okay.

Tony: [turns around] Thank you! I’ve been doing squats.

[after a debrief]

Steve: Hey, Tony. Really good job back there. It took guts.

Tony: Thanks, Steve.

[long moment of silence]

Steve: Tony?

Tony: Yes?

Steve: I would like to ask you…what i really want to ask you…

Natasha: For God’s sake! He wants you to go out with him!

Tony: [twirling around] How do I look?

Steve: Cute.

Tony: If that’s the best you can do then I’m changing.

Clint: [to Steve: Cap, what’s your favorite type of guy?

Steve: [thinking about Tony] My husband.

Clint: [to Bucky] Barnes, what’s your favorite type of guy?

Bucky: Stevie’s husband.

Steve: You keep a tux in your trunk?

Tony: I’m not an animal, Steven.

Tony: Steve told me that wearing a shirt with a target painted on it, is inappropriate given the failed assassination attempt last week, so l’ve changed it.

Clint: …It looks exactly the same.

Tony: Yeah, but now it glows in the dark too.

Steve: Good morning, Tony! It’s great to be alive!

Tony: Why can’t you wake up grumpy and grouchy like normal people?

Tony: [drunk, pointing at Steve] That’s my boyfriend, suckers!

Natasha: Your husband, Tony.

Tony: My husband! Even better!

Random stranger: I hate you!

Tony: I hate myself, too, bitch. You’re not special.

Steve: [softly] Sweetheart, we talked about this.