Category: superhusbands

Regular

Tony: I receive meaningless death threats all the time. It’s really no big deal.

Steve: Of course. totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, because it threatens death!.

Regular

Non-power AU

Tony: [Steve is singing “L’Chaim” at the bar] I can’t believe it! What got into him?

Natasha: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Tony: You didn’t.

Natasha: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Regular

Steve: I LOST TONY! 

Bucky: Well, he’s small.

Sam: Did you check behind a potted plant?

Bucky: Or perhaps a family sized can of tomatoes?

Regular

Steve: Peter is finally starting to learn how much he can do if he really sets his mind to it.                

Tony: [taking notes] How much can he do? The more details I have, the better I can Peter-proof the compound.  

Regular

Natasha: [looking at her phone] Oh, it’s Clint. He says Steve’s drunk and they’re gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.

Natasha: That sounds fun.

Tony: Oh, no. Steve’s drunk texting me.

Bruce: What’s it say?

Tony: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us.“

Bruce: How is that a drunk text?

Tony: He used a period instead of a question mark. He’s so wasted.

Regular

Steve: Do you like my outfit?

Tony: Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.

Steve: Tony!

Tony: No, I need your chair. Get up.

Regular

Bucky: Steve, I have a crush… On Tony.

Steve: Same.

Bucky: …What?

Clint: Get with the times, Barnes. Everybody has a crush on Stark.

Regular

Tony: The suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.

Steve: That would wrinkle the suit.