Category: superhusbands

Regular

[After an argument between Tony and Clint]

Steve: You’ve got to apologize.

Tony: Why?

Steve: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Tony: How does that affect me?

Regular

Tony: I could get killed. Or even worse, Cap could give me a lecture on responsibility again.

Regular

Clint: [to Steve and Tony] Hey guys, I just discovered a new drug. It’s called “Your Relationship,” and I’m high on it.

Regular

Journalist: Is it true you have sex for ten hours?

Steve: No comment.

Tony: [silently]

Fifteen…

Regular

Steve: Oh, my God, we almost nearly got killed.

Tony: Thank you for pointing out something I wouldn’t have noticed by myself. You’re a benefit to have.

Regular

[Tony walks over to Steve at the park]

Steve: Where’s Bucky?

Tony: [points to person beside him confused] He’s right here.

Steve: …that’s not Bucky.

Tony: [turns to burnette beside him frowning] What’s wrong with you? Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to go off with strangers? 

Steve: What’s wrong with you?! You couldn’t tell you had a whole different person?!

Steve: [runs to where Tony came from calling] BUCKY!?

Regular

Steve: When’s the last time anything went according to plan?

Tony: I don’t think there was a last time.

Regular

Tony: I didn’t lie to you.

Steve: Yes, you did.

Tony: I would describe it as….strategic – no – truthing.

Regular

Steve: Ok, do you ever have clothes on?
Tony: I’m not so uptight about nudity.
Steve:

This is not about nudity, okay? This is– This is about decency. It is about privacy.
Tony:

If you were so concerned with privacy and decency, why did you look?
Steve:

I did not.
Tony:

Yes, you did. You looked then and you’re looking now.

Regular

Tony: You know, Rogers, you’re a self-righteous son of a bitch.

Steve: [chuckles]

Tony: And don’t you laugh at me! Don’t you dare judge me!