Category: stony

Regular

Steve: You’re being quiet.

Tony: No, I’m being passive aggressive.

Regular

[Tony and Steve are talking over the phone]

Tony: How are you gonna get the Avengers back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those FBI agents have your name, your address…

Steve: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.

Tony: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field!

Regular

Fury: And we’re back to the obvious. Now, what’s up?

Steve: Well, uh, okay, um, I don’t want to get back together with Tony. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn’t work, but I can’t deal with the fact that he slept with my friend Bucky. So I’m just completely confused and alone.

Fury: I understand.

Steve: Got any advice?

Fury: Yes. Buck up.

Regular

Steve: For the next 72 hours we’re going to live off whatever nature sends our way. See that stream? That’s our drinking water. See those berries? That’s our breakfast.

Tony: See that skeleton? That’s our future.

Regular

Bucky: [speaking of Tony] Did you mount him?

Steve: [embarrassed] Oh my god, Buck!

Bucky:

Wait, wait. Has he got big thighs?

Steve:

[thinking] No.

Bucky:

No?! Then what’s the problem?

Regular

Steve: You flew through 2 buildings!

Tony: Actually, I think it was 3.

Steve: Oh, I’m sorry. 2 buildings, insult, 3 buildings, honor.

Regular

Tony: For this mission, I wore the perfect disguise to make sure I was never noticed by anyone. Something so drab and uninspiring-

Steve: I feel this is going to be a dig at me.

Tony: I wore Steve’s clothes.

Steve: There it is.

Regular

Tony: I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing. It’s probably not a good idea to go down that road again.

Steve: Thank you. I’m glad you agree.

Tony:

It’s a shame, though. When we did it, it was pretty good.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.

Tony:

Hey, do you remember that one really great time?

Steve:

Uh, yeah!

Tony:

It was your birthday…

Steve:

It was Valentine’s Day…

Both: Oh, yeah!

Regular

Tony: We want a lawn and a swing set.

Steve: And a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice cream truck can go by.

Clint: So you want to buy a house in the 50’s?

Regular

Tony: Hey, guys, check it out. Pepper sent me the paper.

Natasha: Let’s see it.

Clint: Oh, yeah, that looks good.

Natasha: You make a very attractive couple.

Tony: Yeah, we look great together.

Bucky: We really do.

Steve: Okay.

Tony: Imagine what our kids would look like.

Bucky: We don’t have to imagine.

Steve: I’m marrying him.

Bucky: We’ll see.