Category: stevetony

Steve: I have a bad feeling about this…..

Tony: Wait, what do you mean?

Steve: You don’t have that little voice in your head that tells you that you might be in trouble?

Tony: No?

Steve: You know what… That actually makes so much sense.

[Sam and Steve texting]

Sam: So, are you and Tony going on a date tonight?

Steve: Yeah, we’re gonna bang at the park for a while and go for some ice cream.

Sam: Um, should you not do that somewhere more private?

Steve: HANG!

Steve: HANG AT THE PARK!

Steve: 0MFG, FORGET I SENT THAT!

Sam: I wish I could.

Natasha: Do you have a crush on Tony?

Steve: No.

Natasha: Does he know you have a crush on him?

Steve: No.

Natasha: [smiles]

Tony: Shit!

Peter: Dad said a bad word!

Steve: Tony, don’t swear in front of Peter!

Tony: I’m so fucking sorry.

Natasha: So, you’re gay?

Tony: Obviously, I’m not gay.

Natasha: You’re having a romantic relationship with Steve.

Tony: You got me there.

Steve: Tony, what’s your blood type?

Tony: Coffee.

Tony: I promised Steve we wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Clint: Why would you lie to your husband like that?

Steve: Gather around, we have a problem.

Tony: What? The fire?

Steve: No, the- wait, there’s a fire?

Tony: Never mind, this sounds more interesting.

Steve: What’s your sign?

Tony: Dollar.

Tony: Didn’t you get my text?

Steve: What? You mean the string of nonsensical emojis?