Peter: That’s it. Dad’s cheating.
Harley: On Strange? How can he possibly do any better?
Peter: No, I mean on this game. No one ever beats me.
Harley: Keep playing games with dad, and no one ever will.
Peter: [after Tony is introduced to him] Tony Stark? The Iron Man? I’m Peter, your biggest fan!
Peter: You’re smaller than I thought.
Peter: But that’s okay!
Tony: Petey, hide the key!
Peter: [throws the key out the window]
Peter, where’d you put the key?
Peter: Out the window.
Tony: … You threw it out the window?! We need that key!
Tony: Are you drunk?!
Peter: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?
Peter: You know you’re not my mother, right?
Tony: You stop acting like my child, I’ll stop acting like your mother.
Tony: [while hugging Harley & Peter] I don’t care what they broke, don’t you dare yell at my little marshmallows!
Tony: [about Peter and Harley] Saw two of my kids hugging and then realized they were choking each other and I was like, okay, that makes more sense.
Steve: Peter said a bad word during training.
Tony: Where the fuck did he learn that?