Category: spiderman

Regular

Peter: Mr. Barnes, how do I ask someone out?

Bucky: Well, first you-

Tony: No, don’t ask him. He asked me out in the loo.

Peter: And you said yes?

Regular

[The Avengers, Spider Man, and Loki are all watching The Lion King together]

Tony: [pauses the film on Scar]

Tony: [while pointing at the screen and looking Loki dead in the eye] That’s you.

Peter: Ohmygodhe’sright!

Regular

Tony: Be careful son.

Peter: You called me son! No take backs!

Thanks for the advice guys I’ve decided to kee…

Thanks for the advice guys I’ve decided to keep the username here’s another heartbreaking meme because why not

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Regular

Peter: That’s it. Dad’s cheating. 

Harley: On Strange? How can he possibly do any better? 

Peter: No, I mean on this game. No one ever beats me. 

Harley: Keep playing games with dad, and no one ever will. 

Regular

Peter: [after Tony is introduced to him] Tony Stark? The Iron Man? I’m Peter, your biggest fan!

[pause]

Peter: You’re smaller than I thought.

Tony: Umm…

Peter: But that’s okay!

Regular

Tony: Petey, hide the key!

Peter: [throws the key out the window]

Tony:

Peter, where’d you put the key?

Peter: Out the window.

Tony: … You threw it out the window?! We need that key!

Regular

Tony: Are you drunk?!

Peter: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?

Regular

Peter: You know you’re not my mother, right?

Tony: You stop acting like my child, I’ll stop acting like your mother.