Category: shameless self reblog

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Rhodey: Did Tony just run by here wearing a bikini top?
Pepper: And a hula skirt?
Rhodey: Yeah…
Pepper: He did.

Conversation

Bucky: [reading a letter] “I see your hands and my body trembles with memory. Your touch is like coarse silk against my bare skin, pulling me ever closer…”
Steve: [looks around, embarrassed] You can’t read that at my wedding! There’s gonna be kids there.

Conversation

Tony: Okay. You’re not Captain America today. You’re Steve.
Steve: I don’t know what that means.

Conversation

Steve: Everything ok there Tony? I know when something’s wrong with you. Something’s wrong. What can I do to help?
Tony: Rhodey and I had a fight.
Steve: Nothing I can do to help!
Tony: You want to hear about it?
Steve: No!
Natasha: Why not?
Steve: Why? Because him and Rhodey are best friends and Tony is gonna want me to take his side and agree that Rhodey was wrong. And then, you know, the two of them are gonna make up and then they’re gonna be mad at me. So, no thank you!

Tony before his morning coffee

[to Clint]: Fuck you
[to Steve]: Fuck you
[to Bucky]: Fuck me
[to Sam]: Fuck you
[to Natasha]: Morning Nat

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Tony: Fuck you!
Bucky: When and where?
Tony:

No, seriously! FUCK YOU!
Bucky:

Yeah, and I said WHEN and fucking WHERE!!
Tony:

NEVER! And NOWHERE!
Bucky: So… My room my room in ten?
Tony:


Bucky: …
Tony:

Fuck it, yes!

Conversation

Tony: [offended] Hey! Fuck you!
Bucky: [winking] Fuck you back!

Conversation

Bucky: Well if I wasn’t your first, at least I can be your last.
Tony: Why? Are you going to fuck and kill me later?

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Bucky: I just walked into a room at this party and Tony yelled “dibs!”…

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Sam: [about Tony]  Why does he always look like he’s walking in slow-mo?

Bucky: You see it too?

Sam: And he always looks disheveled, but not too disheveled.

Bucky: Right? He’s the reason I believe in God.