Category: sam wilson

Regular

Bucky: You know what I really like in Tony?

Sam: No. What?

Bucky: My fingers.

Sam: [chokes]

Regular

[Steve doesn’t take Tony’s impending wedding to  Dr Strange really well]

Steve: [rambling to Sam] I mean, hey, I like Tony as much as the next guy, you know. Clearly, I have feelings for him but feelings don’t mean love. You know, do I still have loving feelings for Tony? Yeah. But that doesn’t mean I am still IN love with him. I mean, I have sexual feelings for him but I DO love him…Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me?!

Sam: We thought you knew!

Steve: WE?!

Sam: Yeah, we all know, we talk about it all the time!

Regular

Tony: Can we not do this in front of our friends?

Bucky: Friends? I only tolerate Sam and Clint is basically a pet.

Regular

Sam: Is there a party this weekend?

Tony: Yeah. Of course there is. Do you want to come?

Sam: No, I can’t. Ahhh. I just need to know where it is. Sorry to be asking.

Tony: Then why are you asking?

Sam: Some people want to know.

Tony: OK. Yeah. It’s no big secret. It’s at the Blue Oyster Bar on Howell.

[Captain America and the Winter Soldier walk into a bar…]

Regular

Sam: [about Tony]  Why does he always look like he’s walking in slow-mo?

Bucky: You see it too?

Sam: And he always looks disheveled, but not too disheveled.

Bucky: Right? He’s the reason I believe in God.

Regular

Natasha: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Steve: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Clint: Spiders.

Sam: Wasps.

Thor: Terriers.

Bucky: Tony.

Regular

Bucky: In my experience fighting and loving go hand in hand.
Sam: Yeah, that’s why Stark shot you.
Bucky: Well, we made love in the ambulance.

Regular

Sam: So is this thing between Steve and Tonly supposed to be a secret?
Clint: Pfft… hardly.
Natasha: The only people who don’t know Steve loves Tony are Steve and Tony.

Regular

Tony: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Bucky: No, because you caught me before I hit the ground.
[in the same room]
Sam: [to Steve] This is what we have to witness everyday.