Category: sam wilson

Regular

Steve: I LOST TONY! 

Bucky: Well, he’s small.

Sam: Did you check behind a potted plant?

Bucky: Or perhaps a family sized can of tomatoes?

Regular

Regular

Regular

Quill: [flirts with Tony]

Bucky: [staring at them silently]

Sam: You’re really quiet today, Barnes.

Bucky: [still staring] Nobody plans a murder out loud.

Regular

Sam: [looking at Tony and Pepper who hug for last ten minutes] What’s the matter with them? 

Bucky: I don’t know. I think maybe one of them is dying. I kind of hope it’s the girl.

Sam: [stares at him]

Bucky: The guy is really cute!

Regular

Tony: Guys there is something that Steve and I need to tell you all.

Steve: We hope all of you don’t get upset at us and we hope that you will understand on what we’re about to tell you.

[silence]

Tony: Steve and I are dating.

Natasha: Oh, I already knew that.

Sam: Me too.

Bruce: I’ve known for quite sometime now.

Bucky: Wait, so we were not supposed to know you two were a couple?

Steve: Well, that’s a relief.

Clint: What the hell?! Why am I always the last person to know these things?!

Regular

Steve: [sighs dreamily]

Sam: What’s got Steve so happy?

Natasha: Last night Tony got so drunk he couldn’t recognize Steve. Steve tried to take his shirt off to get him changed but Tony slapped his hand away and said: “Stop! I’m married!”.

Regular

Bucky: You know what I really like in Tony?

Sam: No. What?

Bucky: My fingers.

Sam: [chokes]

Regular

[Steve doesn’t take Tony’s impending wedding to  Dr Strange really well]

Steve: [rambling to Sam] I mean, hey, I like Tony as much as the next guy, you know. Clearly, I have feelings for him but feelings don’t mean love. You know, do I still have loving feelings for Tony? Yeah. But that doesn’t mean I am still IN love with him. I mean, I have sexual feelings for him but I DO love him…Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me?!

Sam: We thought you knew!

Steve: WE?!

Sam: Yeah, we all know, we talk about it all the time!

Regular

Tony: Can we not do this in front of our friends?

Bucky: Friends? I only tolerate Sam and Clint is basically a pet.