am i a joke to you?
Tony: I’m running background checks on all the male residents.
Steve: Good. Check wider in New Mexico for similar crimes.
Tony: Wish you, command me. I shall call you the moment I have anything to contribute or an overwhelming desire to speak to my beautiful Bucky Barnes, whichever comes first.
Steve: Lemme guess who’ll win that race.
Tony: Mm-hmm, and you’d be right.
Tony: [is dying] pepper…. pepper i’m dy–
Pepper: i think the fuck not
Tony: [instantly recovers 100%] you’re right i’m dumb lol my bad
Bucky: Tony’s so cute when he’s angry
Steve: Pfft, Tony’s always cute. He can’t do anything without being cute.
Steve (muttering): Stupid cute
Tony: YOU SUCK
Bucky: LIKE YOU DID LAST NIGHT?
Don’t provoke him, small things are vicious.
Steve: you know, you often use humor to deflect serious trauma
Tony: thank you
Steve: I didn’t say that was a good thing
Tony: what I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny
Natasha: You look fancy. Got a hot date?
Tony: No, but the guys I’m dating do.
Steve/Bucky/Stephen: *offended noises*
tony, trying to flirt: you have really great hair.
bucky, trying to flirt back: thanks, i grow it myself.
At least, they tried.
Tony : I have to stop asking people how stupid they can be.
Bucky : why?
Tony : they’re starting to take it as a challenge.
Unfortunately, they do.