Category: peter parker

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[The Avengers, Spider Man, and Loki are all watching The Lion King together]

Tony: [pauses the film on Scar]

Tony: [while pointing at the screen and looking Loki dead in the eye] That’s you.

Peter: Ohmygodhe’sright!

Regular

Tony: Be careful son.

Peter: You called me son! No take backs!

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Thanks for the advice guys I’ve decided to kee…

Thanks for the advice guys I’ve decided to keep the username here’s another heartbreaking meme because why not

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Peter: That’s it. Dad’s cheating. 

Harley: On Strange? How can he possibly do any better? 

Peter: No, I mean on this game. No one ever beats me. 

Harley: Keep playing games with dad, and no one ever will. 

Regular

Peter: [after Tony is introduced to him] Tony Stark? The Iron Man? I’m Peter, your biggest fan!

[pause]

Peter: You’re smaller than I thought.

Tony: Umm…

Peter: But that’s okay!

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Tony: Petey, hide the key!

Peter: [throws the key out the window]

Tony:

Peter, where’d you put the key?

Peter: Out the window.

Tony: … You threw it out the window?! We need that key!

Regular

Tony: Are you drunk?!

Peter: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?