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Steve: I have a bad feeling about this…..

Tony: Wait, what do you mean?

Steve: You don’t have that little voice in your head that tells you that you might be in trouble?

Tony: No?

Steve: You know what… That actually makes so much sense.

[Sam and Steve texting]

Sam: So, are you and Tony going on a date tonight?

Steve: Yeah, we’re gonna bang at the park for a while and go for some ice cream.

Sam: Um, should you not do that somewhere more private?

Steve: HANG!

Steve: HANG AT THE PARK!

Steve: 0MFG, FORGET I SENT THAT!

Sam: I wish I could.

Clint: [to Tony] I dare you-

Pepper: Tony’s not allowed to accept dares.

Clint: Why not?

Tony: [head bowed] I have no regard for my own personal safety.

Natasha: Do you have a crush on Tony?

Steve: No.

Natasha: Does he know you have a crush on him?

Steve: No.

Natasha: [smiles]

Tony: Shit!

Peter: Dad said a bad word!

Steve: Tony, don’t swear in front of Peter!

Tony: I’m so fucking sorry.

Tony: I’m sad.

Peter P.: I have emotional jumper cables. I’ll boost you. Just attach like this…

Tony: This is a hug.

Peter P.: Is it working?

Tony: Maybe…

Steve: Tony, what’s your blood type?

Tony: Coffee.

Pepper: I try getting her to say “mama” for a year and nothing, but Tony says “fuck” just once and Morgan won’t stop repeating it.

Tony: You just lack my natural charisma.

Tony: I promised Steve we wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Clint: Why would you lie to your husband like that?

Tony: I’m gonna take a shower.

Steve: Okay.

Tony: And you’re gonna join me.

Steve: Great!