Category: original: tumblr

Regular

Tony: I don’t need to go to bed. I’m not tired. I’ll be fine.

Bucky: But, Doll, I’ll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Tony: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?

Bucky: Is it working?

Regular

Steve: Bruce, how long does it take until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Bruce: I think-

Tony: Seventy two hours.

Bruce: How do you-

Tony: [staring into space] There’s a clown behind you.

Regular

Tony: [talking excitedly to Bucky]

Bucky: [listening while gazing fondly at him]

Tony: …I’m sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I? People say I talk too much. Just tell me if I start to get annoying.

Bucky: You’re not annoying. And I love listening to you. Talk all you want, Doll.

Bucky: [internally] I’m going to murder whoever told him that he talks too much.

Regular

Steve: I hate you.

Tony: I hate you too.

Steve: I hate you more.

Tony: No, I hate you more.

Clint: I know you want to marry each other, you fools! Just do it! Marry each other and adopt children and a movie about how you two met and write a book too!

Steve:

Tony:

Clint: Do it!

Tony: Propose me!

Steve: Marry me?

Tony: Do it right.

Natasha: [gives Tony a terrifying smile]

Tony: I-I mean… Yes, now let’s adopt kids and do a movie and write a book and die together.

Regular

Tony: [looking at Bucky] Who’s that guy?

Clint: That’s Barnes.

Tony: He’s handsome.

Clint: He’s dangerous.

Tony: Now he’s even more handsome.

Tony before his morning coffee

[to Clint]: Fuck you
[to Steve]: Fuck you
[to Bucky]: Fuck me
[to Sam]: Fuck you
[to Natasha]: Morning Nat

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Tony: Fuck you!
Bucky: When and where?
Tony:

No, seriously! FUCK YOU!
Bucky:

Yeah, and I said WHEN and fucking WHERE!!
Tony:

NEVER! And NOWHERE!
Bucky: So… My room my room in ten?
Tony:


Bucky: …
Tony:

Fuck it, yes!

Regular

Tony: [mumbling in Latin]

Loki: Listen, for the last time, I’m not a demon, and you can’t exorcise me.

Tony: [while crossing number 5 off the list] It was worth a try.

Regular

Tony: I want you to take me to art museums and make out with me.

Steve: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Peter: Am I in trouble?
Tony: Have a guess.
Peter: No?
Tony: Have another guess.