Category: original: the big bang theory

Regular

Bucky: Tony, do you have plans for dinner tonight?

Tony: You guys going somewhere?

Bucky: No, I mean, just you and me.

Tony: Like a date?

Bucky: Not like a date, a date.

Regular

Non-power AU

Tony: [Steve is singing “L’Chaim” at the bar] I can’t believe it! What got into him?

Natasha: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Tony: You didn’t.

Natasha: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Regular

Natasha: Can you focus on what we’re talking about?

Tony: All right. Look, now, this may be the rum talking, but as long as the unpinning rate of the vortices is kept within 1.1 and 1.3, the Magnus force issue should be negligible.

Scott: Even drunk, he’s still smarter than all of us.

Regular

Natasha: [looking at her phone] Oh, it’s Clint. He says Steve’s drunk and they’re gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.

Natasha: That sounds fun.

Tony: Oh, no. Steve’s drunk texting me.

Bruce: What’s it say?

Tony: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us.“

Bruce: How is that a drunk text?

Tony: He used a period instead of a question mark. He’s so wasted.

Regular

Bucky: You know what? I don’t have to stand here and take this crap.

Tony: Where the hell do you think you’re going?

Bucky: Isn’t sex after fighting kind of what we do now?

Tony: Well, kind of, yeah.

Regular

Steve: Come on. Let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a lot to drink.

Tony: No more than Thor.

Steve: That’s what I’m saying.

Regular

Rhodey: How’s dating two men going?

Tony: Umm, kinda hit a bump. When I was honest and told Bucky he wasn’t the only person I was seeing, it went great. So I tried the same thing with Steve.

Rhodey: And?

Tony: He had mixed feelings. But when I said “Bucky was cool with it,

Bucky’s the best, why can’t you be more like

Bucky?”, those feelings became less mixed.

Regular

Rhodey: [urging Bucky to get back together with Tony] Please, please, please don’t give up on him!

Bucky: What?

Rhodey: I can’t go back to the model idiots, the white rappers, and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.

Bucky: I don’t know if it’s in the cards, sir.

Rhodey: Then stack the deck! Cheat! Lie! I don’t care!

Regular

Steve: So, tell me about your day, how’s it going with the particle detector?

Tony: Wow, you remember that?

Steve: Yeah, I listen to what you say. You’re building a particle detector using superfluid helium.

Tony: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.

Steve: And you know from past experience this table cannot support both our weight. So, how’s the detector going?

Regular

Steve: “Dear Pepper, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Steve has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Tony.”

Tony: Fine. “And Steve.” Ow.