Category: original: mash

Regular

Tony: Okay. Now I’m scared.

Natasha: It’s okay, I’m here.

Bucky: Nat, you’re what’s scaring us.

Regular

Quill: I wonder if I can say something useful?

Tony: I often wonder that too.

Regular

Rhodey: Pepper! Pepper, it’s Tony, he’s back!

Pepper: Thank God he’s back alive, I’m gonna kill him!

Regular

Tony: Will you stick that gun in your holster?

Bucky: I can plug an ace of hearts at fifty feet.

Tony:

I’ll remember that if we’re ever attacked by a bridge club.

Regular

Tony: Joking about it is the only way to open my mouth without screaming.

Regular

Loki: I win all the time because I’m pure of heart. Right, Anthony?

Tony: You’re a vice ridden degenerate, Lokes. I don’t think you even have a heart.

Regular

Quill: Are you married?

Tony: [looking at Steve] Sort of.

Quill:

Sort of married? That’s like being sort of a virgin.

Regular

Tony: I’m trying my best!

Bruce: I was afraid of that.

Regular

Steve: Tony, wake up!

Tony: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.

Regular

Steve: You’re drunk.
Tony: [slurring] That’s a dirty lie. And I intend to press charges. The minute I’m sober.