Category: original: brooklyn nine nine



Tony: [types] You don’t have to sign your name on texts.

Steve: [types] Dear Tony, suggestion

noted. Sincerely, Steve Rogers.

Steve: Dear Tony, *eggplant emojis.* Love, Steve

Tony: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly ran over.

Bucky: I’m sorry, you were ran over?

Tony: Lightly ran over. I didn’t want to frighten you.

Tony: I receive meaningless death threats all the time. It’s really no big deal.

Steve: Of course. totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, because it threatens death!.


Steve: Okay, you and Clint follow Crossbones.

Natasha: Right, and you and Tony follow your hearts.

Steve: No, we’re gonna stay with Reaper–

Natasha: –and each other forever.

Steve: Come on!

[Endgame reunion]

Natasha: Oh my god, so, Steve and Tony are about to kiss for the first time in years.

Tony: So you’re all just going to watch us?

Bucky: Yes. Now get to it.


Tony: I’ll always be one step ahead of you, you can’t surprise me. Ya bore me.

Bucky: Look, there are three of them, the only way we’re gonna win is if we team up.

Tony: Good point. I guess my response is… ROT IN HELL CRAP-FACE!

Bucky: [gasp]

Tony: Also, I love you and I treasure you. And ya bore me!

Bucky: God you’re being so mean. …do it more.

Tony: [whispers] I hope you die.

Bucky: [melts]

Tony: Bye~!


Tony: Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, because you’re sharpening that knife very intensely.

Bucky: [lifts up knife] It makes me feel better.

Steve: Okay, so does everyone know what they’re doing?

Tony: Are you talking about the run through or in general?

Steve: The run through.

Tony: [sighs in relief]

Tony: [looking at a broken coffemaker] Whoever did this, come forward and all will be forgiven.

Avengers: …

Tony: Smart, you knew I would never forgive you.

Tony: What’s your favorite movie?

Loki: Robocop. It’s got everything I like: gratuitous violence.

Tony: Oh, I thought you were listing things.

Loki: I was. I’m done.