Category: original: brooklyn nine nine


Tony: Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, because you’re sharpening that knife very intensely.

Bucky: [lifts up knife] It makes me feel better.


Steve: Okay, so does everyone know what they’re doing?

Tony: Are you talking about the run through or in general?

Steve: The run through.

Tony: [sighs in relief]


Tony: [looking at a broken coffemaker] Whoever did this, come forward and all will be forgiven.

Avengers: …

Tony: Smart, you knew I would never forgive you.


Tony: What’s your favorite movie?

Loki: Robocop. It’s got everything I like: gratuitous violence.

Tony: Oh, I thought you were listing things.

Loki: I was. I’m done.


Tony: Look at Fury. He’s pacing slowly. For him, that’s like a full on rage fueled freak out.

Natasha: The only thing worse is when he stands perfectly still.

Clint: Oh, no. He’s standing perfectly still.


Tony: It’s a good thing I still have my sexy cat costume from Halloween.

Strange: I really don’t think you were the target audience for that item.

Tony: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.


Bucky: All right, you’re clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.

Tony: Tell me about it.

Bucky: I murdered Barton last night.

Tony: I feel you.

Bucky: Now that I have the taste for blood, I can’t stop murdering.

Tony: Been there.


Tony: Be careful son.

Peter: You called me son! No take backs!


Tony: For this mission, I wore the perfect disguise to make sure I was never noticed by anyone. Something so drab and uninspiring-

Steve: I feel this is going to be a dig at me.

Tony: I wore Steve’s clothes.

Steve: There it is.



And how exactly will you stop me?

Steve: I’ll call Miss Potts.

Tony: … Goddamnit.