Category: nomad

Steve: People like you, are the reason I swear.

Tony: …Understandable.

Steve: Wait, you are involved in this!?!

Tony: You’ve known me for far too long to be as surprised by this news as you are.

Steve: …Why are you smiling like that?

Tony: Because it’s pissing them off.

Tony: May I sit there?

Steve: That’s my lap.

Tony: That doesn’t answer my question, Steven.

Tony: I’m a snack, but is seems like nobody’s hungry.

Bucky: [whispering to Steve] I’m fucking starving.

Steve: Truth or dare?

Tony: Truth.

Steve: Why don’t you love yourself?

Tony: Dare.

Steve: I dare you to love yourself.

Tony: I don’t like this game.

Steve: [sighing exasperated] What am I going to do with you?

Tony: Ideally? Fuck me at some point. 

Natasha: So? How’s Clint?

Tony: Bad news.

Steve: No…

Tony: [steps to the side to reveal Clint] He’s still alive.

[Steve and Tony walking in the park]

Some guy: [about Tony, whistles] Damn, nice ass!

Steve: Tony, say something!

Tony: Okay.

Tony: [turns around] Thank you! I’ve been doing squats.

Steve: [kills a spider]

Tony: God, I wish that was me.

Steve: Tony, go and put a dollar in that self hatred jar now please.

Tony: Good thing I’m rich.