Category: marvel

Officiant: Repeat after me, “I, Anthony, take Virginia Potts to be my wife.”

Tony: I, Tony, take Bucky Barnes-

Officiant: What

Pepper: What

Steve: What

Natasha: What

Bruce: What

Bucky: Get me a fucking dress!

Natasha: So? How’s Clint?

Tony: Bad news.

Steve: No…

Tony: [steps to the side to reveal Clint] He’s still alive.

[Steve and Tony walking in the park]

Some guy: [about Tony, whistles] Damn, nice ass!

Steve: Tony, say something!

Tony: Okay.

Tony: [turns around] Thank you! I’ve been doing squats.

Bucky: Hey guys, Tony and I just got back from a fun run.

Tony: Fun run? Hydra’s agents chased us for 16 blocks!

Bucky: Great cardio.

Steve: [kills a spider]

Tony: God, I wish that was me.

Steve: Tony, go and put a dollar in that self hatred jar now please.

Tony: Good thing I’m rich.

[after a debrief]

Steve: Hey, Tony. Really good job back there. It took guts.

Tony: Thanks, Steve.

[long moment of silence]

Steve: Tony?

Tony: Yes?

Steve: I would like to ask you…what i really want to ask you…

Natasha: For God’s sake! He wants you to go out with him!

Logan: Hey bub…

Tony: You just had your tongue down my throat less than five minutes ago, don’t you dare call me “bub”.

Tony: [looking at sky] This view is so beautiful, right guys?

Steve: [looking at Tony’s ass] Wonderful!

Clint: [looking at Tony’s ass] Totally!

Bucky: [looking at Tony’s ass] Yep.