Category: lokitony

Tony: [points at Loki] Thor, you left us in the hands of HIM! [to Loki] No offense.

Loki: No, I’m with you.

Loki: Pass the salt.

Tony: What’s the magic word?

Loki: [unsheathing a dagger] Or else.

Tony: …Here you go.  

Loki: I have invited you here because I desire to play the deadliest game.

Tony: Knife monopoly.

Loki: … Actually I was going to hunt you for sport, but now I’m interested, so please, continue…

Loki: Lies are like children.

Tony: Explain.

Loki: They’re hard work but they’re worth it because the future depends on them.

Tony: They say that Disney World is the “happiest place on earth”. Obviously, they’ve never been in your arms.

Loki: That’s sweet and all, but what’s a Disney World?

Tony: That was Pete’s school calling. Apparently, he’s been using some very creative language today.

Loki: Oh. Do tell.

Tony: Well, he called his math homework a “cluster duck” and his teacher a “mother flunker.”

LLoki: Did he not call anyone a “sock sucker”? What? It’s just someone who sucks socks.

Tony: I can’t believe you’re teaching my son loophole swear words.

Loki: In my defense, “mother flunker” was entirely the little deviant’s creation. And very clever of him, I might add.

Loki: Isn’t it time we kissed and made up?

Tony: Or I could just rip your face off?

[after sex]

Tony: [referring to Loki helping protect the city] So, the Devil did a good deed today.

Loki: [chuckles] There’s no need to call it that. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Tony: [laughs] You know what I mean.

Loki: Mm.

Tony: What do you want from me? 

Loki: I’ve been watching you, Stark. 

Tony: You perv.

Tony: You know, you can solve your problems without threats.

Loki: Okay, but consider, I’m really, really good at threats.