Category: lokitony

Regular

Tony: Fuck unconditional love. Hate keeps me warm at night.

Loki: I thought I did?

[team sputters]

Tony: [sighing] Fine, you and hate. But that’s it.

Regular

Loki: If I don’t get to eat something soon, I am going to kill somebody!

Tony: [looking worried] But not really, right? 

Regular

Tony: You don’t look evil.

Loki: Make-up helps.

Regular

Tony: And then everyone started this horrible rumor that I was sleeping with Loki!

Strange: I’m so sorry. [pats Tony on the back comfortingly]

Rhodey: Tony, you were sleeping with Loki!

Tony: Yeah, but he didn’t need to know that!!!

Regular

[The Avengers, Spider Man, and Loki are all watching The Lion King together]

Tony: [pauses the film on Scar]

Tony: [while pointing at the screen and looking Loki dead in the eye] That’s you.

Peter: Ohmygodhe’sright!

Regular

Tony: [looking for a glass to pour some wine, settles on a measuring cup] Yep. That’s good. Wine glasses should have handles.

Bruce: Keeping accurate track or your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you’ve had a few.

Tony: You heard, what I did?

Bruce: [about Loki] Well, I heard who you did.

Regular

Loki: Not bad for a human.

Tony: I never thought I’d trust a criminal. Till next time.

Loki: Till next time.

Regular

Tony: Are you crazy?!

Loki: Yeah, I’m crazy! What made you think I was sane?

Regular

Thor: [introducing Tony to the rest of the Asgardians] And this is Anthony Stark! One of my greatest friends and a fantastic warrior!

The Asgardians: Is he single?

Thor: …He has been here for thirty seconds!!!

The Asgardians: Aaaaahhh, so *you’re* dating him.

Thor: I am not!!!

Loki: We both are.

Thor: No!!!

Regular

Tony: When we started going out you promised to make me taller and you have yet to deliver!!!!!

Loki: Anthony, I’ve told you, magic must not be used for such-

Tony: I’m going to ask Strange.

Loki:

Loki: You wouldn’t.

Tony: Try me, Beyoncé.