Category: loki x tony

Regular

Tony: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Loki: Which one? I can’t do both. 

Regular

Tony: I’m sorry, Steve. He wins. I can’t resist him.

Steve: Tony, you have to.

Loki: Stay out of this! This is our relationship. He’s my man and we have something twisted and beautiful. Oh… you want Tony. That’s what this is all about.

Steve: No, that’s insane…. fine, I had one dream, but no, no.

Regular

Tony: You need my help.

Loki: I wouldn’t phrase it like that.

Tony: Well, if you want my help, you better phrase it exactly like that.

Regular

Loki: We will not fight today.

Tony: How’s Monday?

Loki: Why Monday?

Tony: Simple, everyone hates it.

Loki: Good point.

Regular

Tony: What’s your favorite movie?

Loki: Robocop. It’s got everything I like: gratuitous violence.

Tony: Oh, I thought you were listing things.

Loki: I was. I’m done.

Regular

[spotting Loki]

Rhodey: Check it out… green leather,  black, greasy hair. 11:00. What d’you think?

Tony: [looking at Loki] Yummy!…

Rhodey: That’s what I thought. Case closed. Steve, move in. Tony thinks he’s hot.

Tony: What do you mean?

Rhodey: You always fall for the bad guy.

Regular

Tony: Did it hurt?

Loki: Did what hurt?

Tony: When you broke through the earth’s crust, ascending from hell.

Regular

Tony: So, lemme get this straight… You only slept with me to get Stark Industries secrets?

Loki: Yes. I’m a spy. It’s literally part of my job. Black Widow did the exact same thing.

Tony: So… So you didn’t even like me?

Loki: I didn’t actively want to stab you twenty four seven, if that’s what you mean.

Tony: I feel so used!!

Regular

Tony: Fuck unconditional love. Hate keeps me warm at night.

Loki: I thought I did?

[team sputters]

Tony: [sighing] Fine, you and hate. But that’s it.

Regular

Loki: If I don’t get to eat something soon, I am going to kill somebody!

Tony: [looking worried] But not really, right?