Category: loki laufeyson

Tony: They say that Disney World is the “happiest place on earth”. Obviously, they’ve never been in your arms.

Loki: That’s sweet and all, but what’s a Disney World?

Tony: That was Pete’s school calling. Apparently, he’s been using some very creative language today.

Loki: Oh. Do tell.

Tony: Well, he called his math homework a “cluster duck” and his teacher a “mother flunker.”

LLoki: Did he not call anyone a “sock sucker”? What? It’s just someone who sucks socks.

Tony: I can’t believe you’re teaching my son loophole swear words.

Loki: In my defense, “mother flunker” was entirely the little deviant’s creation. And very clever of him, I might add.

Loki: Isn’t it time we kissed and made up?

Tony: Or I could just rip your face off?

[after sex]

Tony: [referring to Loki helping protect the city] So, the Devil did a good deed today.

Loki: [chuckles] There’s no need to call it that. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Tony: [laughs] You know what I mean.

Loki: Mm.

Tony: What do you want from me? 

Loki: I’ve been watching you, Stark. 

Tony: You perv.

Tony: You know, you can solve your problems without threats.

Loki: Okay, but consider, I’m really, really good at threats.

Tony: And now welcome to the first annual affection games, remember this fight is to the surrender not the death. If you kill someone you’re disqualified.

Everyone: [grumbles unintelligible curses under their breath]

Tony: [continuing his introduction] Winner will get 5 kisses and a movie night of cuddles.

Bucky: Y’all are going down.

Steve: You wish! I’m winning this obviously.

Loki: Foolish mortals, do you truly believe you can beat a god?

Pepper: [glares at them all until they back off, then carries Tony away bridal style into the sunset]

Loki: Listen, beach, we got a problem here and-

Tony: Loki, what did you just say? 

Loki: … Beach?

Tony: Uh huh… And uh… How much time have you been spending with Peter?

Loki: Actually, I was watching make-up videos on youtube. I could give you cat-eye sharp enough to cut glass if you want.

I know I’m a marvel fan and all- but I’m not buying tickets to a Thor movie that doesn’t have Loki in it, sorry not sorry

Tony: [sighs]

Loki: You bored?

Tony: Yeah.

Loki: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Tony: Yeah, why not..