Category: iron dad

Tony: What are you doing?

Peter: [spreading toothpaste on toast] I’m multitasking.

Peter: Oh fiddle sticks! Oh diddly gee golly gosh goldarnit! That really ruffles my feathers! Really dills my pickle!

Tony: [crying in the corner] Please, just say F U C K…

Peter: [to Thanos] You…you…you rude person!

Thanos: …

Tony: [drily] Go easy on him, Kid.

Peter: Mr. Stark, do you know anything about huge explosions? Specifically, how to make one?

Tony: Explosions? What is this for?

Peter: …Fun.

Tony: …Is there a particular reason that the bathtub is on fire?

Harley & Peter: [simultaneously and excitedly] SCIENCE!!!

Tony: …Fair enough.

Tony: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.

Peter: What about school?

Tony: Fine. Other than school. And no TV.

Peter: The TV’s broken.

Tony: Then no computer.

Peter: I need the computer for school.

Tony: Then no…uh…no Ned.

Peter: What?! No Ned?!

Tony: NO NED!

Peter: Mr. Stark, if humans can’t see air but can see water…

Tony: Yes?

Peter: Does that mean fish can see air but can’t see water?

Tony: …

Peter: …

Tony: … Fuck.