Category: iron dad and spider son

Regular

Peter: That’s it. Dad’s cheating. 

Harley: On Strange? How can he possibly do any better? 

Peter: No, I mean on this game. No one ever beats me. 

Harley: Keep playing games with dad, and no one ever will. 

Regular

Peter: [after Tony is introduced to him] Tony Stark? The Iron Man? I’m Peter, your biggest fan!

[pause]

Peter: You’re smaller than I thought.

Tony: Umm…

Peter: But that’s okay!

Regular

Tony: Petey, hide the key!

Peter: [throws the key out the window]

Tony:

Peter, where’d you put the key?

Peter: Out the window.

Tony: … You threw it out the window?! We need that key!

Regular

Tony: Are you drunk?!

Peter: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?

Regular

Peter: You know you’re not my mother, right?

Tony: You stop acting like my child, I’ll stop acting like your mother.

Regular

Tony: [while hugging Harley & Peter] I don’t care what they broke, don’t you dare yell at my little marshmallows!