Category: incorrect tony stark

Regular

hawkbucks:

Rhodey, on the comms with Tony: Why are you flying over New York with every single light on your suit cranked up to 11?

Tony: It’s bi visibility day.

Tony: And I wanna be visible.

Well, there’s nothing else to add, it’s already perfect.

Regular

powerstrangerdacre:

Tony: WHY IS THERE BLOOD EVERYWHERE?!

Loki: I may or may not have aggressively poked Thor with a dagger.

Tony: YOU STABBED THOR?!

Loki: No no, aggressively poked him with a dagger.

That’s how he shows he loves someone xD

Regular

Steve: Bruce, how long does it take until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Bruce: I think-

Tony: Seventy two hours.

Bruce: How do you-

Tony: [staring into space] There’s a clown behind you.

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Rhodey: Did Tony just run by here wearing a bikini top?
Pepper: And a hula skirt?
Rhodey: Yeah…
Pepper: He did.

Regular

Tony: People underestimate me because I’m so glamorous. What they don’t understand is that I am a strong man. 

Tony: And that strength comes from my values, my courage, and my dogged pursuit of vengeance.

Regular

Rhodey: Tones, you’re in love. Power down and go to sleep.

Tony: Confusion consumes me.

Regular

summerpipedream:

[Clint babysitting a four year old, de-aged Tony Stark]

Clint: Okay Tony, I’m gonna teach you a few phrases, just in case you happen to lose one of us. When someone asks you what your name is, you say, “I am Tony.”

Tony: I am Tony.

Clint: Good, good. And then if they ask if you’re nice, you say, “Yes, I’m very sweet.”

Tony: Yes, I’m very sweet.

Clint: Great! Now, if someone says something you don’t like, you tell them, “Go fuck yourself”

Tony: Go fuck yourself.

Clint: With a bit more oomph…Go fuck YOURself

Tony: Go fuck YOURself.

Clint: Perfect!

Steve: CLINT!!

😂😂😂

Regular

[The Avengers, Spider Man, and Loki are all watching The Lion King together]

Tony: [pauses the film on Scar]

Tony: [while pointing at the screen and looking Loki dead in the eye] That’s you.

Peter: Ohmygodhe’sright!

Regular

Sam: Is there a party this weekend?

Tony: Yeah. Of course there is. Do you want to come?

Sam: No, I can’t. Ahhh. I just need to know where it is. Sorry to be asking.

Tony: Then why are you asking?

Sam: Some people want to know.

Tony: OK. Yeah. It’s no big secret. It’s at the Blue Oyster Bar on Howell.

[Captain America and the Winter Soldier walk into a bar…]

Regular

[Tony and Steve are talking over the phone]

Tony: How are you gonna get the Avengers back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those FBI agents have your name, your address…

Steve: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.

Tony: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field!