Category: incorrect stony



Steve, teasingly: Can’t tie your shoes?

Bucky: Can’t tie my shoes but I can fuck your ex!

Go Bucky!


Steve: You…have a face.

Tony: Yes. Yes, I do.


I mean, a nice face. You have a nice face.


Thanks, I think.


Please just accept my attempt at flirting. I don’t know what I’m doing.


Steve: You didn’t have a happy childhood?

Tony: My favorite toy was a blowtorch. You finish the puzzle.


Bucky: [reading a letter] “I see your hands and my body trembles with memory. Your touch is like coarse silk against my bare skin, pulling me ever closer…”
Steve: [looks around, embarrassed] You can’t read that at my wedding! There’s gonna be kids there.


Tony: Okay. You’re not Captain America today. You’re Steve.
Steve: I don’t know what that means.


Steve: Everything ok there Tony? I know when something’s wrong with you. Something’s wrong. What can I do to help?
Tony: Rhodey and I had a fight.
Steve: Nothing I can do to help!
Tony: You want to hear about it?
Steve: No!
Natasha: Why not?
Steve: Why? Because him and Rhodey are best friends and Tony is gonna want me to take his side and agree that Rhodey was wrong. And then, you know, the two of them are gonna make up and then they’re gonna be mad at me. So, no thank you!




tony: im no longer able to make good decisions about my feelings. from now on, rhodey will decide for me.

rhodey, without missing a beat: go fuck steve

tony: okay, fucking steve was a Bad idea now we are both being chased by the fbi. rhodey youre impeached. pepper please take the wheel

pepper: go fuck bucky

Remember Tony, Pepper always know what is the best for you xD


Tony: Who the actual fuck?

Steve: Language!

Tony: Whomst the actual sexual intercourse.

Steve: What?



Steve; hey Tony what are you doing today?

Tony: I’m about to do a rim job. Just got the perfect rims sent to me and I just need to add them and the neon lights. Then voila! It is complete

Steve: *mind stuck on the first sentence* I’m sorry what?

Stephen: *walks into the the kitchen* why does Steve look like he’s about to have a heart attack?

Bucky: I don’t know. Tony was talking about rim jobs and cars and – oh shit *cracks up laughing* Jesus Stevie, get your mind out of the gutter!

Tony: *realizing what’s happening and blushes* oh god! Yeah that’s my fault. Bad choice of words *explains to Stephen what he just said*

Stephen: *pouts* the only thing getting rim jobs in this household is you Tony! Come along super soldier sandwich, this Tony mobile ain’t gonna fix itself

Steve: *shocked as he gets dragged along*

Bucky: *laughing hard as he follows*

Tony: but my car

Stephen: *has tony over his shoulder, tugging Steve along as they head towards the room* why bother with the car. The only thing you are gonna be riding in the next couple of days is us 3.

This is something new, something I’m gonna enjoy xD