Category: incorrect stony

Regular

Tony: I receive meaningless death threats all the time. It’s really no big deal.

Steve: Of course. totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, because it threatens death!.

Regular

Non-power AU

Tony: [Steve is singing “L’Chaim” at the bar] I can’t believe it! What got into him?

Natasha: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Tony: You didn’t.

Natasha: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Regular

Steve: I LOST TONY! 

Bucky: Well, he’s small.

Sam: Did you check behind a potted plant?

Bucky: Or perhaps a family sized can of tomatoes?

Regular

Steve: Peter is finally starting to learn how much he can do if he really sets his mind to it.                

Tony: [taking notes] How much can he do? The more details I have, the better I can Peter-proof the compound.  

Regular

Natasha: [looking at her phone] Oh, it’s Clint. He says Steve’s drunk and they’re gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.

Natasha: That sounds fun.

Tony: Oh, no. Steve’s drunk texting me.

Bruce: What’s it say?

Tony: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us.“

Bruce: How is that a drunk text?

Tony: He used a period instead of a question mark. He’s so wasted.

Regular

Steve: Do you like my outfit?

Tony: Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.

Steve: Tony!

Tony: No, I need your chair. Get up.

Regular

marvel-tweets-and-texts:

Original post by @incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes

😍😍😍

Regular

Bucky: Steve, I have a crush… On Tony.

Steve: Same.

Bucky: …What?

Clint: Get with the times, Barnes. Everybody has a crush on Stark.

Regular

mother-shipper:

Photos of Bucky and Tony kissing leak. The public is in an uproar because TONY STARK IS CHEATING ON AMERICA’S SWEETHEART, CAPTAIN AMERICA WITH HIS BEST FIREND!!! HE’S CORRUPTED ANOTHER GREAT AMERICAN SYMBOL!

Tony: We might have to make a public statement about this.

Steve: Oh man. We better talk to Bucky about it first.

Tony: Yeah. I’m worried about how he’s going to handle being in the public eye like this.

Steve: I know. I hope he hasn’t seen it yet. I don’t know if he’s mentally prepared for this kind of attention.

Clint: Uh, guys?

Bucky on TV fighting off a reporter frantically grabbing for her microphone back.

Buck: … that’s why none of you deserve Tony Stark. And another thing! Me and Steve were gay as fuck before Tony and anyone who says they never sucked a dick during the war is a god damn liar!

Go Bucky~!

Regular

live-love-slash:

*Tony bent over a work bench tinkering away*

Bucky: *Elbows Steve* DIBS

Steve: You can’t call dibs on my husband

Bucky:………….Halvsies?

OMG, Bucky ‼‼‼