Category: incorrect quotes

Regular

Tony: This is horrible. This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me…

Rhodey: Even more humiliating than-

Tony: Let’s not do this.

Regular

Tony: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly ran over.

Bucky: I’m sorry, you were ran over?

Tony: Lightly ran over. I didn’t want to frighten you.

Regular

Tony: I receive meaningless death threats all the time. It’s really no big deal.

Steve: Of course. totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, because it threatens death!.

Regular

Rhodey: It’s time to do what you do best, Tones.

Tony: Get on people’s nerves?

Rhodey: Exactly!

Regular

Tony: It says enter.

Bruce: I guess the big decision here is whether or not to push the button. You wanna push it, don’t you?

Tony: Oh, I already did.

Regular

Non-power AU

Tony: [Steve is singing “L’Chaim” at the bar] I can’t believe it! What got into him?

Natasha: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Tony: You didn’t.

Natasha: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Regular

Tony: What are we gonna do?

Bucky: Aw, what are you worried about? You’re so small that they probably won’t even see you.

Tony: Seriously, Barnes? Is this really the time to be making short jokes?

Bucky: Doll, there’s never not a time, because just like you, life is short.

Regular

Steve: I LOST TONY! 

Bucky: Well, he’s small.

Sam: Did you check behind a potted plant?

Bucky: Or perhaps a family sized can of tomatoes?

Regular

Clint: I’m pranking Scott

for April Fool’s Day.

Tony: It’s November.

Clint: Yeah, exactly! April’s when people expect to be pranked, but if I do it today – WHAMO! It’s like a baby with a mustache you don’t see coming.

Regular

[Bucky is lying on the ground, injured]

Bucky: [outstretches his arm] Tony…

Tony: [clasps his hand] What is it Buckaroo?

Bucky: Tony, if… if I die…

Tony: I won’t let that happen-

Bucky: Just listen… if… if I die…

Bucky: [whispers] I’ll still be taller than you