Category: incorrect pepperony

Regular

Pepper: I try getting her to say “mama” for a year and nothing, but Tony says “fuck” just once and Morgan won’t stop repeating it.

Tony: You just lack my natural charisma.

Regular

starkravinghazelnuts:

Tony: [is dying] pepper…. pepper i’m dy–

Pepper: i think the fuck not

Tony: [instantly recovers 100%] you’re right i’m dumb lol my bad 

XD

Regular

theanamalk:

Tony, bursting into the room: it’s missing!

Pepper, turned away: what’s missing?

Tony, exasperated: t-the thing!

Pepper, turning with baby Morgan in her arms: what thing?

Tony, relaxing: oh! You have it.

Pepper: wh-

Pepper: YOU MEANT OUR CHILD?

OMG 😂

Regular

Tony: I’m a responsible adult.

Pepper: [raises an eyebrow]

Tony: I’m an adult.

Regular

Tony: All I wanted was a place where people would care about me.

Pepper: You have that here, you stupid ass!

Regular

Tony: And now welcome to the first annual affection games, remember this fight is to the surrender not the death. If you kill someone you’re disqualified.

Everyone: [grumbles unintelligible curses under their breath]

Tony: [continuing his introduction] Winner will get 5 kisses and a movie night of cuddles.

Bucky: Y’all are going down.

Steve: You wish! I’m winning this obviously.

Loki: Foolish mortals, do you truly believe you can beat a god?

Pepper: [glares at them all until they back off, then carries Tony away bridal style into the sunset]

Regular

grandmasters-twink:

-At Tony and Peppers wedding-

Pepper: Tony where the hell is everyone

Tony: *looks at the 10 people in the ceremony* I guess I forgot to mail some invites..?!

Pepper: so the people at our wedding are peter, may, Steve, Nat, Clint… wait who is that little Asian guy

Tony: OH MY GOD WONG YOU CAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pepper: wtf

😂

Regular

Pepper: Tony, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn’t you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?

Tony: I did! A penis one!

Regular

Tony: At my funeral, there’s going to be a closed casket, and then it’ll be open to reveal that I’m not inside. Instead, they’ll turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme song is playing.

[later]

Tony: Never mind. Pepper says I can’t do that.

Regular

Pepper: Look, I know you’re busy, but I’m… I’m worried about Tony.

Rhodey: Really? Why?

Pepper: Last night he was just whisked away by a couple of federal agents… Then when I talked to him today, he was nice, sincere, no smart-ass quips. So, something is definitely wrong.