Category: incorrect ironwidow

Natasha: Let me just try this lipstick on you.

Tony: Are you kidding?! No way! That’s not my color!

Natasha: So how’d it go down between you and Ross?

Tony: I made an impromptu presentation using a four-prong approach which really brought him to his knees.

Natasha: You hit him with a chair?

Tony: Yes.

Non-power AU

Tony: [Steve is singing “L’Chaim” at the bar] I can’t believe it! What got into him?

Natasha: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.

Tony: You didn’t.

Natasha: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Tony: Okay, how do I look?                

Natasha: Like a man about to go forth and sin.                

Tony: Oh, good, exactly the look I was hoping for.  

Pepper and Rhodey are in charge of Tony's future suitors. Wanna an in with Tony? You must impress his number one girl and number one guy first.

Rhodey: I just want you to know that I used to think there was no man or woman on this world good enough for Tony…
Suitor: Aw!
Rhodey: …And I still think that.

Tony: Natasha is one badass, crazy, super bitch

Natasha: [sneaking up behind him] Tony if you just said I am one badass, crazy, super bitch you are correct.

Tony: Ah, I’m really starting to feel this in my shoulders. You couldn’t give my a back rub, could you?

Natasha: That’s right; I couldn’t.

Tony: How was I?

Natasha: Scattered. Annoying. Alternating between genius and bad puns.


Business as usual, then.

Tony: Okay. Now I’m scared.

Natasha: It’s okay, I’m here.

Bucky: Nat, you’re what’s scaring us.

Tony: From now on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle 1.
Tony: Steve is “Been There, Done That”.
Tony: Bucky is “Currently Doing That”.
Tony: T’Challa is “It Happened Once in a Dream”.
Tony: Natasha code name is “If I Had To Pick a Girl”.
Tony: Sam is “Eagle Two”.
Sam: Oh thank God.