Category: incorrect iron husbands

Regular

Rhodey: Come on, Tones. Could you just tell me what this is all about?

Tony: Not until I know I’m right. Which… I am. You should know you’re engaged to a genius.

Rhodey: Yes, a genius at annoying me.

Regular

Tony: We’re gonna jump.

Rhodey:

Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?

Tony: C’mon, it’s the only way.

Rhodey:

Uh-uh.

Tony:

You’re gonna get shot up here.

Rhodey:

Well, you’re gonna get squashed down there.

Tony:

I’d rather be squashed than shot.

Rhodey:

Not me.

Tony:

Fine, then.

Regular

Tony: If I were a woman, how would you all react?

Strange: Probably like that guy from Hunchback of Notre Dame when he saw the hot chick doing bad ass stuff…

Everyone: Agreed.

Regular

Tony: I don’t give a damn.

Rhodey: You give so many damns they’re visible from space.

Regular

Tony: You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.

Rhodey: Who even says that?

Tony: Me. Just now.

Regular

cassiewantsdonuts:

Tony: [breaths].

Rhodey: I’m SO proud of you, good job!

Tony:?????? All I did was breath…

Rhodey: I know, and you’re doing an amazing job at it!

Aww, Rhodey-bear you’re cute 💙

Regular

Rhodey: Pepper! Pepper, it’s Tony, he’s back!

Pepper: Thank God he’s back alive, I’m gonna kill him!

Regular

Tony: Ah, the sweet smell of freedom!

Rhodey: Tones, you were in the hospital, not prison.

Regular

Tony: Listen, have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?

Rhodey: All the time!

Tony:

Then you should be used to it!

Regular

Tony: I wasn’t even that drunk.

Rhodey: You took out a kitchen knife and made Dum-E throw vegetables at you, and were yelling “I am the fruit ninja!”

Tony: Was I any good?

Rhodey: No.