Category: incorrect iron husbands

Regular

avengersthings:

tony: ten years ago today, i married my best friend.

everyone: aww

tony: pepper’s still angry about it but rhodey and i were drunk & thought it would be funny

😂😂😂

Regular

Tony: What’s wrong with the plan?

Rhodey: Tones, this could be the stupidest plan we’ve ever come up with. You’re aware of that, right?

Tony: …I’m aware it’s not our best.

Regular

Tony: [after being injured in a fight] I want you to avenge me, Platypus.

Rhodey: You’re not dying.

Tony: Avenge me!

Regular

Rhodey: Come on, Tones. Could you just tell me what this is all about?

Tony: Not until I know I’m right. Which… I am. You should know you’re engaged to a genius.

Rhodey: Yes, a genius at annoying me.

Regular

Tony: We’re gonna jump.

Rhodey:

Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?

Tony: C’mon, it’s the only way.

Rhodey:

Uh-uh.

Tony:

You’re gonna get shot up here.

Rhodey:

Well, you’re gonna get squashed down there.

Tony:

I’d rather be squashed than shot.

Rhodey:

Not me.

Tony:

Fine, then.

Regular

Tony: If I were a woman, how would you all react?

Strange: Probably like that guy from Hunchback of Notre Dame when he saw the hot chick doing bad ass stuff…

Everyone: Agreed.

Regular

Tony: I don’t give a damn.

Rhodey: You give so many damns they’re visible from space.

Regular

Tony: You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.

Rhodey: Who even says that?

Tony: Me. Just now.

Regular

cassiewantsdonuts:

Tony: [breaths].

Rhodey: I’m SO proud of you, good job!

Tony:?????? All I did was breath…

Rhodey: I know, and you’re doing an amazing job at it!

Aww, Rhodey-bear you’re cute 💙

Regular

Rhodey: Pepper! Pepper, it’s Tony, he’s back!

Pepper: Thank God he’s back alive, I’m gonna kill him!