Category: incorrect dad tony

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Peter: So tell me, when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with Wade?
Tony: When I’m dead. Plus three days, just to make sure I’m dead.

Maybe I should pursue a degree in Divination?

Peter: Mr. Stark, do you know anything about huge explosions? Specifically, how to make one?

Tony: Explosions? What is this for?

Peter: …Fun.

Tony: …Is there a particular reason that the bathtub is on fire?

Harley & Peter: [simultaneously and excitedly] SCIENCE!!!

Tony: …Fair enough.

Tony: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.

Peter: What about school?

Tony: Fine. Other than school. And no TV.

Peter: The TV’s broken.

Tony: Then no computer.

Peter: I need the computer for school.

Tony: Then no…uh…no Ned.

Peter: What?! No Ned?!

Tony: NO NED!

Peter: Mr. Stark, if humans can’t see air but can see water…

Tony: Yes?

Peter: Does that mean fish can see air but can’t see water?

Tony: …

Peter: …

Tony: … Fuck.

Bucky: Gorgeous…

Tony: Not very gorgeous now, thanks to these wounds…

Bucky: Don’t be absurd, you are way hotter with the wounds! I swear if you weren’t in pain right now, I would-

Peter: [appears] …

Bucky: Cuddle you all night!

Tony: [laughing] Oooh! What else, what else? Do you think we can maybe… Hold hands too?