Category: incorrect dad tony

Regular

Steve: Peter is finally starting to learn how much he can do if he really sets his mind to it.                

Tony: [taking notes] How much can he do? The more details I have, the better I can Peter-proof the compound.  

Regular

marvellokilove:

Tony: I’m very upset. There’s nothing that can make me feel better.

Strange: *Brings Peter in*

Tony, trying to hold back a smile: Fuck

💙💙💙

Regular

Tony: I’m literally so mad at you right now. There’s nothing you can say that will make me forgive you.

Peter: But, Mr. Stark…

Tony: Okay, I forgive you, kid.

Regular

lonestarspidey:

Tony: Where’s Morgan?

Nebula: Doing stuff.

Tony: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Peter?

Nebula: Trying to stop Morgan from doing the stuff.

Tony: What? Then where’s Harley?

Nebula: Trying to stop Peter from stopping Morgan from doing the stuff.

Tony: And what are you doing?

Nebula: Stopping you from stoping Harley from stopping Peter from stopping Morgan from doing the stuff.

Welp…

Regular

Loki: Listen, beach, we got a problem here and-

Tony: Loki, what did you just say? 

Loki: … Beach?

Tony: Uh huh… And uh… How much time have you been spending with Peter?

Loki: Actually, I was watching make-up videos on youtube. I could give you cat-eye sharp enough to cut glass if you want.

Regular

xxtgtgt:

scottishaccentsareawesome:

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Tony: One day I’m gonna look back on this very moment, and get even angrier.

*Peter and Morgan do their best puppy-dog eyes*

Tony: Yeah, that’s not effective right now.

*In a moment*

Tony: okay guys, what do you want? More ice cream? Want daddy to buy you the whole factory? But please don’t tell your mommy.

Regular

scottishaccentsareawesome:

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Tony: One day I’m gonna look back on this very moment, and get even angrier.

*Peter and Morgan do their best puppy-dog eyes*

Tony: Yeah, that’s not effective right now.

Regular

Peter: Dad… About M.I.T…

Assistant: Mr. Stark, the guests are waiting.

Tony: Let them wait! I’m talking to my son.

Regular

iloveyouthree-thousand:

Rhodes [walking into Tony’s workshop]: “You look like garbage.”

Tony: “Good to see you too, pal.”

Rhodes: “Seriously man, when’s the last time you slept?”

Tony [looking at his watch]: “It’s almost one fifty-six, so… about two days ago.”

Rhodes: “Tones.”

Tony: “I just need to finish this last addition to the suit and then–”

Rhodes: “I thought we talked about this… I thought this was getting better. I thought you were taking a break from the Avengers.”

Tony: “It was–it is… the suit isn’t for me. And he’s not technically an Avenger yet.”

Rhodes: “Do you have some sidekick I’m not aware of? Because I swear on your grave Tony I will sidekick his ass.”

Tony: “Come on buddy, you know you’re my number one. Besides, he’s like fifteen. I think that’s a felony.”

Rhodes [eyebrow raised]: “Hold on–is this that kid from Germany?”

Tony: “You mean that teenage pain in my ass that enjoys doing exactly what I say not to do? Yes. Seriously, if my friends would’ve pulled half the shit this kid pulled, we would not be friends anymore.”

Rhodes: “So… why are you still hanging around him?”

Tony [sighing]: “Because for some reason, my patience for him has not gone down one bit… I don’t get it–I don’t like it… it makes me feel weak that I can’t not like this kid even a littleI feel like he could be stabbing me and I’d still be proud of him. He’s just… he’s a good kid, Rhodes.”

Rhodes

Rhodes [laughing]: “Jesus Christ.”

Tony: “What?”

Rhodes [still laughing]: “I didn’t know that I’d live to see the day you turned into a dad.”

Tony:

Tony: “That’s not–I’m just making sure he doesn’t get himself killed.”

Rhodes: “Uh-huh.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y. : “Sir, incoming call from Peter Park–”

Tony: “Answer call.”

Tony [eyes wide as Peter’s hologram face appears]: “Hey, Pete. Shouldn’t you be at Decathalon practice or something?”

Peter: “Hi Mr. Stark! I know you said this number was for emergencies–”

Tony [already reaching for his suit]: “Is something wrong? What’s going on? Peter, talk to me.”

Peter: “No! I mean–nothing’s wrong. Nothing life or death, anyway. I just, there’s some math problems that I was having problems with and May said all she remembered from calculus was her weird professor that always offered her gum.”

Tony:

Tony: “Kid, don’t scare me like that.”

Peter [sheepishly]: “Sorry. I know this is stupid, I just knew you were good at math and… sorry.”

Tony: “Save the apologies for when you actually need to give them. You know you can swing by whenever and Rhodey’s here so he can help you too. He’s not as smart as me, but he’ll try his best.”

Peter: “Awesome! Thank you Mr. Stark! And Mr. Rhodes!”

Tony: “Don’t sweat it. I’ll see you soon. End call.” 

Rhodes [in a terrible Tony impression]: “I’m just making sure he doesn’t get himself killed.“

Tony

Tony

Tony: “Whatever.”

Iron dad 💙