Original post by @incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes
Tony: What are you doing?
Peter: [spreading toothpaste on toast] I’m multitasking.
really liked the concept of peter sitting on the ceiling when sulking
(and of course tony has to try and make the kid come down somehow)
inspired by this
Morgan: [starts screaming at 3AM]
Pepper: [half-asleep] Your turn.
Tony: Ugh, fine…
Tony: [starts screaming]
Peter: Oh fiddle sticks! Oh diddly gee golly gosh goldarnit! That really ruffles my feathers! Really dills my pickle!
Tony: [crying in the corner] Please, just say F U C K…
Peter: [to Thanos] You…you…you rude person!
Tony: [drily] Go easy on him, Kid.
Tony: [about 20 minutes into a conversation] Oh shit, I’m supposed to go find them…
Tony: The kids. We were playing hide and seek.
Peter: So tell me, when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with Wade?
Tony: When I’m dead. Plus three days, just to make sure I’m dead.
Maybe I should pursue a degree in Divination?
Tony: Any questions?
Peter: Why isn’t Bigfoot called Bigfeet?
Tony: No, about working with the Avengers.
Peter: Oh! If he worked here would you guys call him Bigfeet?
Tony: What was that?!
Tony: OK! [to himself] Parenting is easier than it looks.