Category: incorrect dad tony

Regular

Peter: That’s it. Dad’s cheating. 

Harley: On Strange? How can he possibly do any better? 

Peter: No, I mean on this game. No one ever beats me. 

Harley: Keep playing games with dad, and no one ever will. 

Regular

Peter: [after Tony is introduced to him] Tony Stark? The Iron Man? I’m Peter, your biggest fan!

[pause]

Peter: You’re smaller than I thought.

Tony: Umm…

Peter: But that’s okay!

Regular

Tony: Petey, hide the key!

Peter: [throws the key out the window]

Tony:

Peter, where’d you put the key?

Peter: Out the window.

Tony: … You threw it out the window?! We need that key!

Regular

Tony: Are you drunk?!

Peter: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?

starsandsupernovae:insp [x] Oh, Tony…

starsandsupernovae:

insp [x]

Oh, Tony…

Regular

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Peter: Am I in trouble?
Tony: Have a guess.
Peter: No?
Tony: Have another guess.

Regular

incorrecttonyquotes:

Tony: Arghhh they’re dead! Peter and Shuri are dead!!

T’Challa: Calm down all they’ve done is not text us.

Tony: Exactly! They’re teenagers, nothing stops them from texting!!

😂😂😂

Regular

scottishaccentsareawesome:

Tony: Why don’t you go get yourself a boyfriend?

Bucky: Why don’t you go get yourself a boyfriend?

Tony: I spend all day working and spend all night with my kid.

Bucky: So you would rather spend time with your son than get laid?

Tony: Yeah.

Bucky: That’s sweet. I’m kind of crushing on you, Stark…

💙💙💙

Regular

bishpknifetrick:

tony: this is our son, peter

steve: i am aware

tony: this is my other son you never met, harley

steve:

tony: and this is my lovely daughter i met in space, nebula

steve: you can’t just adopt people when you feel sad

I still think they adopted him.

Regular

Peter: You know you’re not my mother, right?

Tony: You stop acting like my child, I’ll stop acting like your mother.