Category: hawkiron


Bucky: Steve, I have a crush… On Tony.

Steve: Same.

Bucky: …What?

Clint: Get with the times, Barnes. Everybody has a crush on Stark.


Clint: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.

Tony: Tough. We’re watching Predators of the Serengeti.

Steve: Would you guys stop! 

Clint: [changes channel]

Tony: Quit it! 

Clint: Bite me! 

Tony: Clint keeps changing the channel!

Clint: That’s great! Why don’t you tell Mommy on me?! 

Steve: Now I’m Mommy in this little play? Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little kids dimension thing, okay? So I’m gonna go take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!


Tony: Welcome home! I made your favourite!

Clint: Oh, god…

Tony: Take-away pizza!

Clint: Oh, thank god.


Natasha: [looking at Tony and Clint] Okay, what is going on? You guys are acting weirder than normal. And your normal is pretty weird.


Steve: [about Tony] You slept with my godson?

Bucky: Yeah.

Clint: How could you? We had a pact!

Steve: Excuse me, I think “How could you? He’s my godson” takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.


Tony: What kind of a teenager did you think I was?

Clint: Slutty.

Bucky: Easy.


The word is “popular”.


Clint: We should have a plan, in case one of us gets lucky.

Bucky: Okay. If I get lucky, I’ll take Tony to my stately manor outside Gotham city. And, if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.

Clint: Sounds like a plan.


Clint: You know what? I’m covering everything in pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spiced everything.

Tony: Do you really want to do that?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced latte. Pumpkin spice oatmeal. Pumpkin spiced chocolate.


You’re going to make yourself sick.


Pumpkin spiced Tony.


Wait, what?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced chips.


Did you say, “pumpkin spiced Tony”?


Pumpkin spiced pumpkin.


What the fuck is wrong with you?


Tony: Man, I wish homophobic people were actually afraid of gay people. Like, could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples’ hearts with your gayness?

Clint: If I do not have one trillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will kiss this man on the mouth in front of your children!