Category: dad tony stark

Stephen: You should stop worrying about Peter and let him lead his own life.



Tony: Do you want to follow him, or should I?

Stephen: Let’s both do it.

Tony: Shit!

Peter: Dad said a bad word!

Steve: Tony, don’t swear in front of Peter!

Tony: I’m so fucking sorry.

Tony: I’m sad.

Peter P.: I have emotional jumper cables. I’ll boost you. Just attach like this…

Tony: This is a hug.

Peter P.: Is it working?

Tony: Maybe…

Pepper: I try getting her to say “mama” for a year and nothing, but Tony says “fuck” just once and Morgan won’t stop repeating it.

Tony: You just lack my natural charisma.

Tony: That was Pete’s school calling. Apparently, he’s been using some very creative language today.

Loki: Oh. Do tell.

Tony: Well, he called his math homework a “cluster duck” and his teacher a “mother flunker.”

LLoki: Did he not call anyone a “sock sucker”? What? It’s just someone who sucks socks.

Tony: I can’t believe you’re teaching my son loophole swear words.

Loki: In my defense, “mother flunker” was entirely the little deviant’s creation. And very clever of him, I might add.

Tony: What did we learn today?

Peter: That our worst nightmares are real and we should totally be afraid of them because they ARE coming to get you.

Tony: I’m literally so mad at you right now. There’s nothing you can say that will make me forgive you.

Peter: But, Mr. Stark…

Tony: Okay, I forgive you, kid.

Loki: Listen, beach, we got a problem here and-

Tony: Loki, what did you just say? 

Loki: … Beach?

Tony: Uh huh… And uh… How much time have you been spending with Peter?

Loki: Actually, I was watching make-up videos on youtube. I could give you cat-eye sharp enough to cut glass if you want.

Peter: Dad… About M.I.T…

Assistant: Mr. Stark, the guests are waiting.

Tony: Let them wait! I’m talking to my son.

Peter: Mr. Stark, I can explain everything!

Tony: Can you, kid? Can you?

Peter: Well…no, sir, not really…