Category: clint x tony

Regular

Steve: [about Tony] You slept with my godson?

Bucky: Yeah.

Clint: How could you? We had a pact!

Steve: Excuse me, I think “How could you? He’s my godson” takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.

Regular

Tony: What kind of a teenager did you think I was?

Clint: Slutty.

Bucky: Easy.

Tony:

The word is “popular”.

Regular

Clint: We should have a plan, in case one of us gets lucky.

Bucky: Okay. If I get lucky, I’ll take Tony to my stately manor outside Gotham city. And, if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.

Clint: Sounds like a plan.

Regular

Clint: You know what? I’m covering everything in pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spiced everything.

Tony: Do you really want to do that?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced latte. Pumpkin spice oatmeal. Pumpkin spiced chocolate.

Tony:

You’re going to make yourself sick.

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced Tony.

Tony:

Wait, what?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced chips.

Tony:

Did you say, “pumpkin spiced Tony”?

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced pumpkin.

Tony:

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Regular

Tony: Man, I wish homophobic people were actually afraid of gay people. Like, could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples’ hearts with your gayness?

Clint: If I do not have one trillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will kiss this man on the mouth in front of your children!

Regular

Tony: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?

Clint: How about “Oh shit?”

Tony: That’s good.

Regular

Clint: If I get out of this alive, I’ll be nice to everyone, I swea –

Tony: [catches him]

Clint: I didn’t swear.

Tony: What?

Regular

Clint: These candies you gave me? They sucked.

Tony: But you ate all of them…

Clint: I had to make sure they all sucked.

Regular

Bucky: Who’s got a plan B?

Clint: Plan B? We need a plan C, D, E. We need more alphabet!

Tony: Hey! We do what we do best. We improvise, all right?