Category: clint x tony

Regular

Clint: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.

Tony: Tough. We’re watching Predators of the Serengeti.

Steve: Would you guys stop! 

Clint: [changes channel]

Tony: Quit it! 

Clint: Bite me! 

Tony: Clint keeps changing the channel!

Clint: That’s great! Why don’t you tell Mommy on me?! 

Steve: Now I’m Mommy in this little play? Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little kids dimension thing, okay? So I’m gonna go take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!

Regular

Tony: Welcome home! I made your favourite!

Clint: Oh, god…

Tony: Take-away pizza!

Clint: Oh, thank god.

Regular

Natasha: [looking at Tony and Clint] Okay, what is going on? You guys are acting weirder than normal. And your normal is pretty weird.

Regular

Steve: [about Tony] You slept with my godson?

Bucky: Yeah.

Clint: How could you? We had a pact!

Steve: Excuse me, I think “How could you? He’s my godson” takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.

Regular

Tony: What kind of a teenager did you think I was?

Clint: Slutty.

Bucky: Easy.

Tony:

The word is “popular”.

Regular

Clint: We should have a plan, in case one of us gets lucky.

Bucky: Okay. If I get lucky, I’ll take Tony to my stately manor outside Gotham city. And, if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.

Clint: Sounds like a plan.

Regular

Clint: You know what? I’m covering everything in pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spiced everything.

Tony: Do you really want to do that?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced latte. Pumpkin spice oatmeal. Pumpkin spiced chocolate.

Tony:

You’re going to make yourself sick.

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced Tony.

Tony:

Wait, what?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced chips.

Tony:

Did you say, “pumpkin spiced Tony”?

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced pumpkin.

Tony:

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Regular

Tony: Man, I wish homophobic people were actually afraid of gay people. Like, could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples’ hearts with your gayness?

Clint: If I do not have one trillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will kiss this man on the mouth in front of your children!

Regular

Tony: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?

Clint: How about “Oh shit?”

Tony: That’s good.