Category: clint barton

Regular

Clint: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.

Tony: Tough. We’re watching Predators of the Serengeti.

Steve: Would you guys stop! 

Clint: [changes channel]

Tony: Quit it! 

Clint: Bite me! 

Tony: Clint keeps changing the channel!

Clint: That’s great! Why don’t you tell Mommy on me?! 

Steve: Now I’m Mommy in this little play? Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little kids dimension thing, okay? So I’m gonna go take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!

Regular

Bucky: We would be awesome together.

Tony: Aren’t we already?

Natasha: [to Clint] Like us, they are perfectly matched.

Regular

Tony: Welcome home! I made your favourite!

Clint: Oh, god…

Tony: Take-away pizza!

Clint: Oh, thank god.

Regular

Tony: Guys there is something that Steve and I need to tell you all.

Steve: We hope all of you don’t get upset at us and we hope that you will understand on what we’re about to tell you.

[silence]

Tony: Steve and I are dating.

Natasha: Oh, I already knew that.

Sam: Me too.

Bruce: I’ve known for quite sometime now.

Bucky: Wait, so we were not supposed to know you two were a couple?

Steve: Well, that’s a relief.

Clint: What the hell?! Why am I always the last person to know these things?!

Regular

Clint: [looking at Bucky, who is surrounded by girls] I don’t get it. 

Tony: Dark hair, bedroom eyes, moody demeanor. I totally get it.

Regular

[the Barton farm was repossessed, but Clint gets it back]

Clint: How did you get the house from the bank?

Tony: I bought the bank. 

Clint: The whole bank?

Tony: 

It’s like a reflex with me, I don’t know.

Regular

Natasha: [looking at Tony and Clint] Okay, what is going on? You guys are acting weirder than normal. And your normal is pretty weird.

Regular

Clint: And as long as we’re talking about betraying our friends, how about the month Tony spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Bruce’s food?

Tony: Excuse me! That was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to see at what concentration food starts tasting… mothy.

Bruce: You put moths in my food?!

Tony: For science!

Regular

Steve: [about Tony] You slept with my godson?

Bucky: Yeah.

Clint: How could you? We had a pact!

Steve: Excuse me, I think “How could you? He’s my godson” takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.