Category: clint barton

Regular

Clint: And as long as we’re talking about betraying our friends, how about the month Tony spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Bruce’s food?

Tony: Excuse me! That was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to see at what concentration food starts tasting… mothy.

Bruce: You put moths in my food?!

Tony: For science!

Regular

Steve: [about Tony] You slept with my godson?

Bucky: Yeah.

Clint: How could you? We had a pact!

Steve: Excuse me, I think “How could you? He’s my godson” takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.

Regular

Tony: What kind of a teenager did you think I was?

Clint: Slutty.

Bucky: Easy.

Tony:

The word is “popular”.

Regular

Clint: What do you say, Tony?

Tony: I say, Vegas, baby!

Natasha: What are you gonna tell Steve?

Tony: Sea World, baby!

Regular

Clint: We should have a plan, in case one of us gets lucky.

Bucky: Okay. If I get lucky, I’ll take Tony to my stately manor outside Gotham city. And, if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.

Clint: Sounds like a plan.

Regular

Natasha: I know that. But to be fair, I’ve spent nine months helping Laura get ready for this baby, and Clint spent five minutes conceiving it. And I’m being generous.

Steve: [to Tony] Five minutes? We must be doing it wrong. It took us hours.

Tony: [smiles]

Regular

Tony: Look at Fury. He’s pacing slowly. For him, that’s like a full on rage fueled freak out.

Natasha: The only thing worse is when he stands perfectly still.

Clint: Oh, no. He’s standing perfectly still.

Regular

Clint: You know what? I’m covering everything in pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spiced everything.

Tony: Do you really want to do that?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced latte. Pumpkin spice oatmeal. Pumpkin spiced chocolate.

Tony:

You’re going to make yourself sick.

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced Tony.

Tony:

Wait, what?

Clint: Pumpkin spiced chips.

Tony:

Did you say, “pumpkin spiced Tony”?

Clint:

Pumpkin spiced pumpkin.

Tony:

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Regular

Tony: [half asleep, in a heavy British accent] Don’t worry, it’s getting better.

Steve: Why are you British?

Tony: [in an Australian accent] Sorry, it’s getting better.

Steve: Why are you Australian?

Tony: What is he normally?

Steve: He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.

Tony: [in his actual accent] Ugh, me.

[later]

Steve: [just got done telling Clint what happened]

Clint: I’m pretty sure you just thwarted a possession.

Regular

Tony: Man, I wish homophobic people were actually afraid of gay people. Like, could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples’ hearts with your gayness?

Clint: If I do not have one trillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will kiss this man on the mouth in front of your children!