Category: avengers

Regular

Tony: And there’s no repercussion for this?

Natasha: I will not punch you.

Tony: Oddly specific.

Regular

[After an argument between Tony and Clint]

Steve: You’ve got to apologize.

Tony: Why?

Steve: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Tony: How does that affect me?

Regular

Tony: I could get killed. Or even worse, Cap could give me a lecture on responsibility again.

Regular

Natasha: I hope you have a good explanation for this.

Tony: We have three.

Bucky: Pick your favourite.

Regular

Natasha: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Steve: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Clint: Spiders.

Sam: Wasps.

Thor: Terriers.

Bucky: Tony.

Regular

Tony: Hey, you did great on the last getaway, but Steve’s pushing us to do something similar tomorrow. You think you can do that?
Bucky: [scoffs] Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute?
Tony: Yes. I’ve seen it happen.

Regular

Tony: Alright, well I’m gonna go now.
Hammer: I’m sorry, was I not just in the middle of a story?
Tony: Yeah, but I wasn’t really that interested in it.

Regular

Clint: [to Steve and Tony] Hey guys, I just discovered a new drug. It’s called “Your Relationship,” and I’m high on it.

Regular

Tony: Think about it, Brucie. This could be a sign!

Bruce: What if it’s a stop sign, Tony?

Regular

Journalist: Is it true you have sex for ten hours?

Steve: No comment.

Tony: [silently]

Fifteen…