Author: Tony x happiness


Natasha: What were you doing at Tony’s?

Steve: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, you’ll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of “friends with benefits.”


Clint: What do you say, Tony?

Tony: I say, Vegas, baby!

Natasha: What are you gonna tell Steve?

Tony: Sea World, baby!


Clint: We should have a plan, in case one of us gets lucky.

Bucky: Okay. If I get lucky, I’ll take Tony to my stately manor outside Gotham city. And, if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.

Clint: Sounds like a plan.







hot take: thanos knew about tony from that one planet he visited where everyone worshipped tony as a god, thats why thanos felt threatened by tony cause he tries so damn hard to be seen as god by killing millions and still fails at it but this fucking mortal from Unimportant Rock #23 has a whole fucking alien race worshipping him even though theyve never even seen him

thanos: what do you mean, you dont know that you are worshipped as god by an entire alien race

tony: i have nothing to do with it

thanos, eye twitching, strangled voice: youre telling me, you became god, by accident??

tony: i guess?

thanos: thi s is fine 🙂

guys i just read up on the Stark race and it says theyre 6 feet tall on average and their bodies are bionic,, theres a whole race of 6ft tall motherfuckers that worship tony stark thats incredible but also fucking terrifying

peter, starry-eyed: are you really a god, mister stark?

tony: naaah, i have no idea what that guy’s talking about. tall, violet and god-complex over there must confuse me with someone else.

*two days later, an army of 6ft tall, built-as-fuck, we-mean-business alien warriors is camping outside SI, ready to follow their god into battle*

narrator: he did not.

someone!!!!! write a fic!!!!!!!!!




tony, who has been spending way too much time with peter: ok so steve you’re going to yeet nat over to that ledge

the avengers:

the avengers: what



Tony: I’m sorry, Steve. He wins. I can’t resist him.

Steve: Tony, you have to.

Loki: Stay out of this! This is our relationship. He’s my man and we have something twisted and beautiful. Oh… you want Tony. That’s what this is all about.

Steve: No, that’s insane…. fine, I had one dream, but no, no.



Bucky: *opens shower curtain* What do you want for breakfast?

Tony: Privacy!

Omg xD



Peter: *sneaking in through his window*

Aunt May: *turning in her chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you’ve been all night?

Peter: I-I was with Tony?

Tony: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

Busted 😂


Tony: You need my help.

Loki: I wouldn’t phrase it like that.

Tony: Well, if you want my help, you better phrase it exactly like that.



Bucky: What are you drinking?

Tony: Vodka.

Bucky: Straight?

Tony: No, bi.